X
How do I get paid? Learn about our new Secured Funds Program!
  Ver el sitio en English, Español, o Français
La boletería solidaria
¡Registrarme!  |  Entrar
 
Encontrar un evento Crear tu evento Ayuda
 
Donnie Baker LIVE in Houston, Texas
Firehouse Saloon
Houston, TX
Compartir este evento
Obtener entradas
No hay fechas activas para este evento.


Evento

Donnie Baker LIVE in Houston, Texas
ABOUT DONNIE BAKER

Due to the fact I'm still on probation much of my background is sealed in Court 7.  I swear to god it is.  You can look it up but good luck getting access because the new judge is a dick and I'd say it right to his face thru a privacy fence.  Again!

A lot of people think my Mom Phyllis is my real mom.  Well, she ain't!  She's the one who basically raised me from a little bad ass in adult diapers because I was born with a condition called "Pig-a-mortis."  Let's just say my pork sword needed more leg room and regular pull ups wouldn't fit me.  I wasn't even able to do regular push ups until my arms grew out when I was 14 years old.  I was raised in a strip club named XXXandues when my Mom Phyllis (Sheena/Vegas/Champagne) basically ran the place.  And she made more money in one summer with a broke arm than most the other girls put together.  And she couldn't even push her boobs together like they could.  So you know she's fire ass hot!

I got my first boat when I was 17 years old.  I've had 4 boats since including the one I'm trying to sell.  When I do sell it, I'm going to get a bigger boat, so take that Mitchell.  The worst place to be in life is between boats.  I've been there too many times and I swear to god I'm never going back to that dark place.  I love my boat and hate to see it go.  But I'll never sell my 7 trophies which are still in the front window at Discount Karate.  I probably know more about the marshal arts than anybody I know of!

My best friend for life is Scotty Winkler.  Scotty is good people and the only honest, friend I can truly trust.  I can't wait until he gets out.  Me and Scotty have been with more hot girls than anybody I know of.  He was the one who introduced me to Angel Skinners.  And I was the one who told him about Patty Fergusons.  Looking back it's kind of like the circle of life because now I'm with Patty and he's been with Angel. I know.  Twilight zones.  Scotty is also the only other friend I have who really understands what its like to live and think like the harvest wolf.  Welcome to the pack Scotty!

My job sucks.  I work for somebody who ain't even qualified to be a supervisor.  And I'd say it right to your face Randy!  Dishman hired me anyways and rumor has it your days or numbered anyways.  I'm tired of breaking down cardboard boxes for minimum wage especially the boxes are maximum weight.  I could sue your ass.  And who gave you the right to take FICA out of my check?  So Shut Up Randy!!

My Uncle Sonny has played cards with a lot of famous people including Burt Reynolds.  I think David Coverales is why rock n roll is still alive today.  And my goal is to push Trojan rubbers to keep working until they find one that fits me!  I've put stretch marks in a can coozie before so do the math!  If you have any other questions about my background you can look it up or call my pager to ask me right to my face.

Ubicación

Firehouse Saloon (Ver)
5930 Southwest Freeway
Houston, TX 77057
United States
El mapa se está cargando...

Categorías

Comedia > Stand Up

Edad mínima: 21
Apropiado para niños: No
No fumar:

Contacto

Correo electrónico:
support@brownpapertickets.com

Contáctanos
Correo electrónico
support@brownpapertickets.com
Teléfono
1-800-838-3006 (temporalmente no disponible)
Recursos
Desarrolladores de Software
Ayuda
Compradores de entradas
Rastrear un pedido
Navegar por los eventos
Ubicaciones
Productores de Eventos
Crear un evento
Precios
Servicios
Entradas pre-impresas
Lista de locales
Entérate sobre eventos locales
Recibe notificaciones por correo electrónico diarias o semanales acerca de eventos nuevos y con descuento en tu localidad
Inscríbete a eventos locales
Conéctate con nosotros
Síguenos en Facebook
Twitter
Síguenos en Instagram
YouTube
Conócenos
El uso de este servicio está sujeto a los Términos de uso, Política de Privacidad, y Política de Cookies de Brown Paper Tickets. Todos los derechos reservados © 2000-2022 Móvil EN ES FR